Happy 2011!
I must confess, i’m pretty glad 2010 passed the way it did - swift and unfeelingly – just the way i’ve hoped. I’m a free man for a month now, and it’s been awesome. I’ve never felt this free in my life before, and it’s the best dope in the world. Sure, some days it’s lonely and sad, like being stuck at home on new year’s eve watching Black Swan (of course i downloaded) wasn’t the most memorable change of year i’ve had, but nonetheless having no school or work to return to 2 days later sure feels great. Of course, this illusion of greatness does stem from the fact that the rest of the civil world do have work and books to return their lazy asses to, as compared to my increasingly perpetual reluctance to even wake every morning.
2010’s probably the final lap of the plateauing, or at least, i really hope it is. I’m tired of it. 2 years of army, as much as i wanted to preserve what i was when before i enlisted, i’m much changed. I still hate the army, it is the worst organisation i’ve ever come under of, and the experience was bitter-sweet at best. Little good times, and many many bad times.
And really, EVERYONE has moved on in their lives. Every single one. I love my friends to their last toe nail, more than any oldie love song can sing of(i have my sincerity issues.. i know), but everyone of them has moved on so long ago, and the part i play in their beautiful lives become smaller and smaller. It’s a struggle, but i’ve made peace with that. My only consolation that i have to convince myself, was to just wait it out. Wait till 2011. And suddenly, it’s right here already; this is the year to grab life by the steering wheel. I’ve waited for way too long, i should care less. Ultimately, it is my life that i need to live, at this juncture of things at least.
Another 40 odd days left before i leave for Australia. As they say, it’s a bloody mixed bag of feelings.
I feel i’ve said to much already, for a customary new year post.
Resolutions: hope life turns around from hereupon; be a better son/friend/driver/whatever-i-am-and-will-be, and love to live and live to love. Fuck, i’m corny as hell(but good job on refraining from swearing till the end).
Happy 2011 everyone!
